At first it didn’t really sink in. He began telling me he
wanted to refer me to a surgeon as soon as possible. He felt confident we had
caught it early and it was confined to a milk duct, but I would soon learn more
about my diagnosis when I met with the surgeon. He told me there were a couple
he’d recommend, but there was one surgeon he highly recommended. I told him
whoever I could see the soonest was the one I wanted to see as I began pleading
with him since I was about to get married. By this time, it was after 5 p.m.
and his office was closed. But he assured me he would have his staff get on
this first thing in the morning.
All of a sudden everything he had said didn’t seem to make
sense to me nor could I remember it all. So I asked him if my fiancé could call
him should he have any questions I could not answer. He was very gracious and
gave me his cell phone number.
After we hung up, I sat on the side of the bed trying to
process it all. Do I call Scott? I
thought. Surely he’d be getting off work
soon. And about that time my cell phone rang. It was Scott. I was trying
very hard not to break nor give off a signal of fear, and I apparently did ok.
He wanted to know what he could pick up for dinner. I encouraged him to come by
the house first then we’d decide.
Since I had had the stereotactic biopsy the day before, I
had spent most of the day in bed as directed. Apparently there is a risk of
bleeding within the first 24 hours so the less you do the better. So I slid
back in bed, except this time I was sitting up, anxiously awaiting Scott’s
arrival. Trying to decide how to tell him I have cancer. Cancer. The “C” word. Could I actually say it? I don’t know .
. . my head was spinning! I quickly felt very nauseated. We should probably hold off on the wedding, I thought. But Scott
has worked so hard to make all the arrangements . . . ugh . . . what to do? What not to do?
And Austin . . . Oh my
God . . . what will Austin do if something happens to me? Scott could manage
fine without me but not Austin . . . he needs his mother, plus, he’s been
through enough. Maybe the surgeon will tell us it’s a mistake. Oh, how I pray
we can the surgeon tomorrow!
By the time, I had this mental battle well underway in my
head, I hear “Hey darlin’.” There is Scott. God he looked handsome . . . . He
came over and kissed me. There was immediately a lump in my throat the size of
Texas . . . I calmly told him we needed to talk and asked him to close the door.
He did then knelt down by the bed and held my hand with that beautiful smile on
his face. I looked him straight in his gorgeous blue eyes and said, “My doctor
called . . . I have cancer.” The look on his face . . . he broke . . .
bellowing, “Nooooo! Nooooo!” I held his head in my lap consoling him, trying to
assure him it would all be ok. I immediately began trying to explain everything
my doctor had told me, which I could not remember most of it. But the two
things I could remember were, it was found in a milk duct so it was confined
and apparently caught early.
I told Scott I had his cell phone number so he could call
him later, and he did. After a few hours in and out and behind closed doors, I
told Scott I wanted to tell Austin. For 10 years, it had just been the two of
us, and I was always open and honest with Austin. Although we hadn’t told
anyone else yet, I wanted him to hear it from me. So with the three of us piled
up in my bed, we broke the news. A lot of it he could not comprehend, but the
one thing I assured him was I would be ok. When I had my stroke, I told him I’d
be ok, and I was. This upcoming battle would be no exception. I would and could
beat it! Plus, this time we had one more on our team – Scott . . .
And a year later, WE have beat it!
Today, Wednesday, July 30, 2014, I celebrate my one year
anniversary of being a breast cancer SURVIVOR!
For several months, I had imagined what this day would hold,
this momentous occasion in my life . . . we’d have a big pink party to
celebrate this milestone. But instead, Scott and I are headed to Nashville.
Crum-Teague Healthier Solutions is a vendor at the Plum Expo, the National
Women’s Survivor Convention at the Opryland Hotel. I mean . . . who would have thought? One year ago
today I’m trying to simply accept my diagnosis. Now, 20+ trips later to the
Cancer Treatment Center of Chicago, having found cancer in my right breast
initially then a more evasive tumor in my left breast, who knows the number of tears,
scans, tests and vials of blood, five surgeries, four chemo treatments and the
loss of hair, one year later I’m headed to celebrate with approximately 1,000 other
ladies from across the country who too have conquered their battles with
cancer. And yes, I have my “sparkle” on!
But no worries, I feel a “pink” party coming on soon!
In closing, Jesus honored God by fulfilling His purpose on
earth. Remember, as believers, we should honor God the same way. When anything
in creation fulfills its purpose, it brings glory to our Creator. “So God may
you continue to use me to bring glory to you . . . God work through me,” Susan.
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