Can Three Months Turn Into Three Weeks?

Thursday, July 10, 2014, 12:45 p.m. EST

Just three weeks ago, we received the most anticipated news since “Our Pathway to Recovery” began almost a year ago: “We’ll see you in three months for a checkup unless you need us in the meantime.” Unfortunately, I need them in the meantime.

Yes, I am on a flight to the Cancer Treatment Center of America (CTCA) in Chicago with pain in my left hand and arm. Last night, I woke up three times with unbearable burning and pain. I could have literally screamed at times. But instead, I cried as Scott walked me around the bedroom and in our bathroom, against my wishes, just hoping movement would alleviate some of it until the pain pill he gave me kicked in and would hopefully allow me to rest and go back to sleep. But it didn’t . . .

Although last night was the worst incident to-date, it’s ironic I will be seeing my doctor today at 3 p.m. (CST), and I’m just praying he will be able to give me relief, both short-term and long-term. If it requires weekly visits, more medicine, surgery, etc., I’m willing to do whatever it takes in order to get relief.

About the middle of May, I became experiencing a discomfort in my left arm. What I described Scott thought it could be tennis elbow. So he bought me one of those braces you were when you have tennis elbow. It felt good once I put it on, but it never alleviated the pain.

By the end of May, I began experiencing a lot of pain in my left arm and hand but no burning. I noticed it was worse when I was still, i.e. riding in the car, at night. We assumed my neuropathy had worsened as a result of my chemo. After my last surgery, the end of May, I was hospitalized not because of my surgery, but because of the pain I work up to in recovery in my left arm and hand. The next morning Dr. Chris Stephenson, who by the way, is the son of the founder of the CTCA, came to my room and but all performed a miracle. As he began placing his hands and working his fingers in various areas of my head, neck, shoulders, arm and hand, the pain left my body . . . literally. I felt like a new person almost immediately, and for a few weeks was pain free.

Unfortunately, the pain has returned during the last couple of weeks. I drop things, can’t open things, can’t close things, can barely hold on to a golf club at times . . . actually, I am typing this blog with my right hand as I can barely open my left hand/fingers from a clutched position. By the way, you may remember a blog I typed almost two years ago with my left hand as I was unable to use my right hand at that time following my stroke.

Monday I had a moment . . . on the number eight tee box. For seven holes, my left hand hurt so badly I told my friend and golf partner Paula I wasn’t sure if I could compete in the upcoming two-day tournament. I sat there and just cried in the golf cart. I was crying because here I am  . . . only a few weeks after we were at the CTCA . . . my life is supposed to be getting back to somewhat normalcy  . . . I’m only 44 years old . . . what is happening to me? Why won’t the pain just go away? Ironically, after I had “my moment” my golf game surprisingly came back together for the remainder of the holes.

Speaking of the golf tourney, we finished Tuesday, finding ourselves at the top of the third flight, but unfortunately, we were not able to hold on yesterday. Neither one of us played well nor did we sister-in-law well, but we looked good! After playing together several times in this tournament, for the first time, we actually wore matching outfits both days in the tournament!

But it’s amazing how quickly things can change . . . how you can feel ok one minute, not great, but ok (I’ll take ok) then but all be begging for relief of pain the next.

Nonetheless, I am encouraged that Scott, with God’s help, worked everything out so quickly for me to be headed to Chicago to see my team of doctors. My faith and trust in Him remain strong, and I have already prayed a prayer, declaring my healing. What I have to remember, it is His time plan and timing, not mine.

Oh! Did I mention? Today just happens to be mine and Scott’s 11-month wedding anniversary. Although we’re spending it apart, we realize what is important in our lives. We’ve also realized we often do what we have to do, not what we want to do. I cannot wait to celebrate our one-year anniversary next month!

Although I’m somewhat discouraged on several levels, I will continue to hold on to His unchanging hand as we encounter the next chapter on “Our Pathway to Recovery”.