Pink Pumpkins for Breast Cancer Awareness Month - News 5 WCYB

In case you missed the news story WCBY TV 5 Bristol did on our "pink" pumpkins and Scott's effort to raise awareness during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, here is the link:

http://www.wcyb.com/news/pink-pumpkins-for-breast-cancer-awareness/-/14590844/22548788/-/46bqpwz/-/index.html

Halloween Display Supports Woman's Breast Cancer Battle - WBIR 10 News

In case you missed the segment WBIR 10 News in Knoxville did regarding our "pink" pumpkins and Scott's effort to raise awareness during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, here is the link:

http://www.wbir.com/story/news/local/hamblen-jefferson-cocke-greene/2013/10/11/womans-breast-cancer-battle-goes-to-halloween-display/2969739/

October 23, 2013 - Galations 6:2

While writing my last post, I forgot to share a very special moment with you . . .

Last Tuesday, before we left the Cancer Treatment Center of America (CTCA) -
Chicago, I had an appointment with a physical therapist (PT). They have been taking measurements in order to monitor any swelling. Thank God I have not experienced any swelling as my doctors took a practical approach to reduce it prior to and after my surgeries and it obviously proved to be successful. The PT also wanted to check the mobility of my arms. I told her it was difficult to get my coat on my left arm. I could only get it 3/4 of the way on, then Scott or Austin would have to get it the rest of the way, over my shoulder. Her first question was "Do you own a cane?" I paused a moment, smiled, and said "Yes . . .yes I do". I did not tell her why, i.e. my stroke. I never thought I would need my black and orange cane, again, yet I knew exactly where it was. So, she left the room to get a cane. We she returned, she was showing me exercises I needed to do prior to my next surgery to ensure I regain full mobility. As she is giving me instructions while I'm completing the various exercises with the cane in hand, I stood there thinking . . .this time last year, I was using a cane to walk. A year later, I will use the same cane for exercises following a bilateral mastectomy and the beginning stage of reconstructive surgery. Amazing . . .

By the way, the PT was wearing a fitted cap on her head, but I could tell she was bald. I asked her as politely as I knew how if she also was a cancer patient. With a beautiful smile on her face, she told me no but her husband had cancer. I asked her how he was doing and maintaining her beautiful smile told me he passed away last year. He was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer. She keeps her head shaved in his memory. A lump immediately formed in my throat, and my heart broke for her. She proceeded to tell me he too worked at the CTCA - Chicago  . . . as a chaplain . . . Galations 6:2.

Anyone who has fought the battle of cancer knows how traumatic it can be, especially women who have fought breast cancer. Well, last night was one more hurdle along our "Pathway to Recovery".

Many of you know after we returned from the CTCA last week Scott encouraged me to be proactive and have my head shaved prior to starting chemo tomorrow. He felt this would empower me to be more proactive and stronger if I chose to not let chemo/cancer take my hair away from me . . . and I did . . . sounds like a good title of a book, huh? :)

We were sitting outside last evening, awaiting Jennifer's arrival, and Scott reminded me that I'm in charge of our "Pathway to Recovery", not the cancer. He told me, as he did from the beginning,"You've already defeated this . . . God's got this . . . you're just going through the process, creating a testimony and many blessings to share with others".  He concluded by encouraging me to stay on the offense for the remainder of our pathway, not the defense. After this moment, I didn't think there was anything I couldn't do . . . then, the door bell rang . . .

My dear friend and hair stylist, Jennifer, came over after she finished at her shop. Keep in mind, she is a special friend, but I met her at the front door with mixed emotions.  What I didn't know was she too approached the front door with mixed emotions.

Being the friend she is, she brought me a beautiful hat box, filled with a few hats. She especially surprised me with a black beret-like hat, which matched a hat she too had. She wanted to surprise me once this was over . . .you know, so we could look alike  . . . at least for a moment :) But the surprise was too good to keep :)

We headed upstairs to the bathroom with Scott right by my side. He too was going to get his head shaved as he was not going to let me do this alone . . .  Galations 6:2. So, I sat in the chair, with my back to the mirror. Jennifer told me she had never done this before (to a woman, of course). I hugged her and told her it would be ok. Scott cranked up some music, per our request, and it actually calmed our nerves a bit while Jennifer conjured up the strength she had been searching for to do this. But when the sound of the clippers turned on, it took all I had to fight back the tears until I could not hold them back any longer. They streamed down my face, but Scott was there to catch them, as well as my hair that was falling in my lap, on the floor . . . but I kept praying, knowing this is only temporary and just one more step along our "Pathway to Recovery".

When Jennifer finished, she got the black beret-like hats. She put mine on. Put hers on. Then I turned around. We looked cute and had fun posing for the camera, but I still dreaded seeing what was under my hat.

After we had some laughs in our hats, Jennifer told me she was going to step out and give me a few minutes. Although Scott had been taking pictures, he put his phone down and took my hat off, holding me as tightly as he's ever held me . . . Galations 6:2. Then I turned to the mirror and saw myself  . . . bald  . . . for the first time. I took a deep breath, stood there for several seconds, wiped my tears away, then smiled as I looked at Scott, and said "well, it's your turn!" :)

Obviously, Scott got his head shaved, getting his Marine Corp look again, and he looked as handsome as ever.  Austin got his cut some so he too could participate in the family ritual prior to the beginning of my chemo treatments. He wanted to see me hatless, but one time was enough for him. He politely asked me to keep a cap on . . . and I did :) I even wore a toboggan, featuring the Breast Cancer ribbon, Jennifer gave me to bed last night as my head went from being really warm to a bit cool.

I'm not sure I can walk out my door without a scarf or hat on my head just yet, but I am grateful Scott encouraged me to do it on my own will. I'm reminded of our chaplain at the CTCA when she looked at Scott during our first visit and said," Scott, she's in it to win it" and I replied, "yes ma'am, I am"!

October 19, 2013 - “Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.” - Proverb, Maori

Since we returned home from our last trip to the Cancer Treatment Center of America (CTCA) – Chicago Tuesday night, I have to admit I have procrastinated in writing this blog update. Why? Well, it’s been rather emotional to even talk about this week, but it has gotten easier. Plus, I have to be able to see through my glasses without tear drops precluding my ability to see the keyboard :)

As with any battle in life, we have our good days and our bad days. As I’ve said before, as long as the latter is the exception and not the rule, it’s ok . . . however, it seems like my mind and emotions continue to wrestle for control, but I do believe it is important and healthy to release our emotions and not suppress them. It is also vital we focus on the positives. I have told several of you my blessings far out weight my battles associated with breast cancer, and they do :)

Our “Pathway to Recovery” has challenged us in many ways. Accepting the fact I have breast cancer was probably one of the hardest challenges. But from the moment I was diagnosed, Scott and I declared I would be a survivor from the very beginning, and I will!

Ok . . . now that I have reminded myself of a few important things here is my update from our recent visit this week:

First of all, we had a great time in Chicago with Austin on Sunday. We enjoyed a train ride into the city before finding our way to the midpoint of the Chicago Marathon near the Wilson Tower. Then we went to the Millennium Park before we made our way to the Navy Pier where we took in an architectural tour of the city by boat, discovered Garrett’s popcorn - yuuuuuuuuuuumy, and had lunch at Harry Caray’s. Was a great day . . .

On Monday morning, we had breakfast then met with our surgeon. He was very pleased with the surgery, and felt he got it all. My margins looked good, but he reminded us there is always that chance a few cells could be left behind. He also told us my cancer was Stage 1.

We then met with our plastic surgeon. After three weeks to the day since my surgery, he removed my drains – YAY!! He also added about 100 cc’s of saline into my expanders, which gave me a bit more definition but created a bit more discomfort. He too was very pleased with the surgery and how I am healing. The numbness, burning sensation and pain is expected due to the surgery, as well as the expanders, so I just ensured we got another prescription of what I refer to as the yellow pills :) When we left his office, we were scheduled to return in three weeks for my expander fluids.

This appointment was followed by a consultation with a chaplain, as well as mind and body. Then lunch :)

Next came the long-awaited appointment with our oncologist. The short of the long of it is, in addition to hormone therapy for the next five to ten years, I will be having four chemo treatments, one every three weeks beginning next week. How did this come about?

For those of you who are familiar with breast cancer, you probably know when they predict the possibility of your cancer returning, they take the pathology report, as well as your age, health, etc. The report then tells you if you are at high, low or intermediate risk. Guess where I was? Yep, intermediate, which meant the decision, was more mine than the doctor’s. So we discussed and deliberated the short term risks with chemo, as well as the long term risks. This discussion was not a short conversation but rather lengthy, yet necessary. After all the information and options were on the table, I looked at Austin who had fallen asleep in Scott’s lap, and I looked at Scott, then held his hand  . . . tightly, as I began to cry. Scott knew exactly why I was shedding tears without me saying a word.

Our oncologist stepped out of the room long enough for me to choke back my tears and try to discuss this with Scott. I told him if I didn’t do chemo and my cancer came back, I’d never forgive myself. But, if I chose to do chemo and my cancer came back, I’d have the satisfaction of knowing we tried. I told Scott I’m 43 and I have too much to live for to not do the chemo, as I rubbed Austin’s head with one hand then took hold of Scott’s hand with the other. He completely agreed and supported me 100%.

After the oncologist returned, I shared with him my decision and the reasons why, as they were seated right beside me. He too was supportive. He said we would only need to do four treatments, one every three weeks. He also felt I would be able to handle it well. I don’t remember the names of the two cocktails I will receive but the initials were TC . . . how ironic is that?

Also, if you remember, after I had an MRI in Johnson City then a biopsy of my left breast in Chicago, a more invasive tumor was found. Well, during surgery, they discovered another invasive cancer in my right breast, where my initial cancer was found in a duct. To that end, LADIES, get your annual mammograms! I am evidence that if you do, breast cancer can be caught early, despite the fact I have the BRCA2 gene, and a one in 10,000 mutation. 

Before we left the room, my plastic surgeon called and wanted to talk to me as this would change our upcoming plans and appointment. He too endorsed my decision, which made us feel even better.

So, we will be returning this Thursday, October 24 for my first treatment. And yes, I am choosing to have my chemo at CTCA. Being a patient there, they know me, and since it is only once every three weeks, I felt it was best to continue my treatment there.

As I just mentioned, this will delay the next part of my reconstructive surgery and hysterectomy (remember, since I have the BRCA2 gene and the mutation, my chance for ovarian cancer increased dramatically so we’re going to be proactive to avoid ovarian cancer), but that’s ok . . . once again, I know we made the right decision.

 After the oncologist left the room and his nurse came in, she, like everyone else there, was so compassionate to both Scott and me. She provided more information as to what I could expect. And the one thing I dreaded to hear was I would loose my hair.

As several of you know, I had my hair cut really short after my first surgery when I was hospitalized for two nights, and Scott did his best to fix my hair. But if you remember, he was fired from that job :) So, my dear friend and hair stylist, Jennifer, cut it really short so I could shower and go since I could not get my arms up to dry it or style it. I also actually had the thought in the back of my mind should I have chemo, there would be less to loose. So, it wasn’t all about Scott. But I have to brag, since it has grown out a bit, he has become quite the hair stylist. Jennifer, you might want to look out! lol

But the other night, we were talking about this subject, and Scott had the best idea . . . ever. He told me I should be proactive. He encouraged me to get my head shaved before we go back and not let the cancer and chemo take it away. And he’s right . . . so before we leave this coming week, Jennifer is going to shave my head and Scott told me he too would shave his . . .

So, it’s been a difficult week . . . I have decided the emotions associated with breast cancer can be one of the greatest challenges in this battle. But like other battles we fight in this life, you get to a point where you become stronger and more courageous. Then you put on your armor ready for the next combat. As a result, I’ve been reminded that I’m in it to win it, and this is just one more challenge I will overcome and one step closer to being a survivor.

Joshua 1:9

Our "Pathway to Recovery": October 17, 2013 - Stories in the Air

Our "Pathway to Recovery": October 17, 2013 - Stories in the Air: I continue to be amazed at the many “Godwinks” along our “Pathway to Recovery”. Last Saturday, after we took off on the plane destined f...

October 17, 2013 - Stories in the Air

I continue to be amazed at the many “Godwinks” along our “Pathway to Recovery”. Last Saturday, after we took off on the plane destined for the Cancer Treatment Center of America (CTCA) – Chicago, with Austin in tow :), Scott began talking to the flight attendant. We were seated in the last row of the plane near the engines so it made it a little difficult for me to understand their conversation. The short of the long of it was she was also a cancer survivor, but her husband, unlike mine, chose not to stay in her life upon receiving the news . . . I sat there  . . . . in tears . . . literally. But she obviously beat cancer, is doing very well health wise and has discovered a new-found happiness in her life. I have read and heard about these stories but never met anyone who has lived out such a heartbreaking story. Before we departed the plane, Scott shared my blog with her, and she and Austin had their picture made together :) By the way, Austin became a big fan of hers when she snuck him a small can of Pringles :) So, if you are reading this, please know how much you touched my heart and may God bless you with continued good health and a lifetime full of happiness . . .

The last time we flew home following my bilateral mastectomy and the beginning stage of my recovery surgery the flight attendant, who apparently saw my drains and all our pink, struck up a conversation with Scott while I was napping. If you haven’t figured it out yet, Scott always has the aisle seat, and I have the window seat :) I was so exhausted on this return flight I think I was asleep before we ever took off then slept until it was time to depart the plane. To that end, Scott did not have a chance to tell me about his conversation with this flight attendant. Since I was pretty sore and moving slowly, we purposefully waited in order to be the last ones off the plane. As I was getting up, very gingerly, the flight attendant told me she too had had breast cancer and to “hang in there . . . everything would be alright”. But with the tone in her voice, I knew she too was a fighter. Amazing . . . I would never guessed it and only wondered how young she was?

Then Tuesday night, after we were seated on the plane, the lady seated across the aisle from us thought she recognized us. Austin was seated in the window seat in front of us and assured us at the end of the flight he could now fly by himself :) She asked Scott if we had been at the CTCA and he replied yes. Plus, I had not removed my medical arm band yet. She asked if I was a patient at the CTCA, and Scott told her I was as she was too. She told us she lived in Knoxville then Scott reciprocated, telling her we were from Greeneville. Her eyes light up and said “you’re the ones with the pink pumpkins!” Scott laughed and said, “Yes we are”. And guess what? Her name is also Susan. She had been at the CTCA for a little more than five weeks receiving radiation treatments. Her mother had seen it on the news and sent the link to her so she could see it. Since we hadn’t taken off yet, I was able to participate in this conversation to a degree until our wings took flight. Then it wasn’t long my head found its way to Scott’s shoulder and my eyes managed to found their way closed. Upon loading the car in front of the terminal, a friend of hers had pulled in behind us so we too got to meet her. The smiles our pink pumpkins brought to both of them were very gratifying after my husband only wanted “to do a little something” to bring a smile to my face.

We all know it’s a small world and we never know who we'll meet and where. But always, keep in mind  . . .  we also never know the battles those people who cross are paths are fighting within themselves or have fought and overcome or are just waiting to share their story with others. I anxiously await to see who we meet on our next flight!

October 9, 2013 - Part II

Several of you who have inquired regarding an update on my “Pathway to Recovery” . . . thank you :)

As many of you know, I have been home recovering from a bilateral mastectomy and the beginning stages of reconstructive surgery, which was performed on Monday, September 23. By the way, September 18 was my one year anniversary of my stroke-like “event” that left me with very limited use of my right sight and the inability to say more than a few words at one time. I actually thought my surgery was going to be scheduled that day, but it wasn’t . . . it was the day we left for my surgery. Who would have thought? One year later after my “event” we’d be on a plane, headed to the Cancer Treatment Center of America in Chicago for a bilateral mastectomy and beginning stages of reconstructive surgery. But, praise God for my complete recovery from my “event” – it was nothing less than a miracle.

Back to the battle at hand, I think I have done exceptionally well given the path before me. I have been very fortunate and had mostly good days, but like most, I’ve had my bad days, too. As I’ve told several of you, as long as that is the rule and not the exception, I think that’s pretty good when you go through a traumatic experience, such as breast cancer.

My pain was controlled before I left the Cancer Treatment Center of America following my surgery, and for the most part, we’ve kept it controlled to where it is tolerable. I told someone just yesterday, considering the battle I continue to fight, it has been a wonderful experience. God has blessed me abundantly during this time – I have so much to be thankful for. Scott has been nothing less than incredible . . . 24/7. Austin . . . Austin may not fully understand it all, but he has become one of my biggest cheerleaders and a huge advocate for Breast Cancer Awareness (thank you, Scott, for setting the example). Our close friends have become closer. And the people who we have crossed paths with, who otherwise we’d never met, Godwinks, I pray our story of courage inspires, touches and blesses them in an amazing way.

God is good.

We will be leaving this Saturday, returning to Chicago. Since it is Austin’s fall break next Monday through Wednesday, he is making the trip with us, and we’re all so excited! He will get to see the Cancer Treatment Center of America - Chicago, meet most of our team of doctors, see where we’ve stayed, as well as meet some of the people who we have met along our way – those Godwinks :) and take in a little bit of the city while we’re there.

The main purpose of this trip is to have my drains removed – yipeeeeeee! I will also receive some fluids in my expanders. In addition, I will meet with my oncologist, surgeons, as well as other members of our team. Then wrap up my appointments Tuesday morning before returning home Tuesday evening. I am anxious to know what’s next as part of our “Pathway to Recovery”.

To everyone who has extended a gesture of thoughtfulness  . . . you know who you are and what you have done to demonstrate your care and support . . . please know how much it has been appreciated . . . it truly has. Forgive me, but I have not been able to send my thank you notes as intended. I even bought the cutest Breast Cancer Awareness note cards . . . I know everyone understands, but my mother would be so disappointed in me :(

Once again, please pray for uneventful and safe travels to and from Chicago and continue to lift us up in prayer, as we too will remember you. I believe God hears our prayers, and He has the power to heal and work miracles.

Before I close, I must share . . . Austin just be-bopped around the corner and asked what I was doing. I told him I was updating my blog. He said, “be sure and tell everybody you’re doing ok so they won’t worry about you” . . . enough said :)

Deuteronomy 31:6