Sun, Rain and Snow

This morning while watching the news I was anxiously awaiting the weather report because I thought they were calling for snow this evening/tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong – I am so ready for spring and summer, but I’d love to get just one more good snow this year.

Of course, as the meteorologist was giving the forecast for today he mentioned we’d have sun, with rain later turning into snow as the temperature dropped. I don’t recall him mentioning the gusts of wind I felt the moment Scott pulled in to meet me at Pal’s for lunch today. And the gusts of wind we felt when we went to Lowe’s. And the gusts of wind turning my décor flags in circles in my front yard. Nonetheless, we’re going to have sun then rain then snow . . . in say about twelve hours? What a day!

But I began to think about that . . . how often in our lives do we wake up in the morning, ready for anything that comes our way? We have had our alone time with God. We’ve prayed. We’ve put on our positivity hat. Nothing is going to bring us down. Then a few hours later? A minutes later? Bam! It hits. The clouds roll in. The wind begins to blow. The rain begins to fall. The temperature begins to drop. Then before you know it the ground and roads are covered with snow. And if not properly prepared for the likelihood of snow could make for some very treacherous traveling conditions. Then where do you find yourself? In a ditch? I hope not!

So how is life like the weather?

First, I’d say its unpredictable . . . totally unpredictable. I remember the Saturday the guys put up the Christmas lights on our house in November. It was so hot. Austin even took off his shirt! Then in no time it was freezing . . . . brrrrrrrrrr! One day you are preparing to pack for your destination wedding when later that same day you receive a phone call . . . from your doctor . . . telling you  . . . you have breast cancer. I will confess through all of the emotion and turmoil during the last six months, my faith, trust and walk with Him is so much stronger . . . and I know through my journey with God He has a divine purpose for my life as He continues to reveal bits and pieces along my pathway to recovery.

 

Secondly, not only is the weather and life unpredictable, but it changes. Sometimes within seconds! How many of us have heard someone say “if you don’t like the weather in East TN don’t leave; just wait a few minutes . . . it will change”? And how true that is! I believe the changes in our lives are simply part of God’s plan for us. Why? Maybe He doesn’t want us to get too complacent with where we are in life. If our lives didn’t change, I bet we’d take far too many things for granted (as if we don’t do enough of that now). If my life had not changed, I would not be at home today when Austin when he came barreling through the front door. I wouldn’t be at home writing my blog right now and working on finishing my books in progress. Trusting God doesn’t mean we only trust Him when the sun is shining. We trust him during the wind, the clouds, the rain and the storm. And yes, the hail too.  

Thirdly, we cannot control everything in our lives no more than we can control the weather. I’ve told many people I didn’t choose to have a stroke or lose my parents or be diagnosed with breast cancer, but I can choose how I respond to these challenging times in my life. As Charles Swindoll says, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it”. As much as I really wanted the snow to accumulate this past Wednesday, and yes, our ground was covered, I couldn’t make it happen. I was powerless. But we all know one who is not powerless . . . our God. And as a reminder, He is involved in every facet of our lives. The sooner we realize that the sooner we will have the peace through which God speaks to our hearts no matter if it is sunny, raining, or snowing. Do you want God to begin changing your thoughts? Your dreams?  Then put your complete faith and trust in Him and realize no matter the weather it is His plan for our lives. I’m reminded of some lyrics in Michael W. Smith’s Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord:

To see You high and lifted up
Shinin' in the light of Your glory
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing holy, holy, holy

Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see You
I want to see You

Finally, I believe the weather helps us appreciate the various seasons just like the hard times in life make us appreciate the good times. Now granted . . . some of us (not naming names) know there are 154 days until summer . . . for some of us we looooove summer! But there’s the beauty of fall . . . the beauty of spring. And winter? No, I don’t like the cold, but I appreciate the fact we can enjoy a season of white, which is typically mild (I hope I didn’t just jinx things!), which in turn makes me appreciate summer so much more. I love the snow, well a couple of good snows. Plus the winter sports associated with this type of year. But do we appreciate the various seasons in our lives? It’s difficult to appreciate the times that are tough, isn’t it? But how many times have we looked back on those challenging events in our lives and seen at least one good thing as a result? I have . . . Plus, I firmly believe “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”. It may bring family and friends together that otherwise would not have happened. And I’m certain, if we’ve trusted God during those difficult times, we have a much closer relationship with Him . . . my faith and trust have certainly deepened.

In closing, life is a lot like the weather as it can be unpredictable, it can change in a moment’s notice, we can’t control it, but it does create a deeper appreciation within us. So, no matter the forecast, I wish you a day full of sunshine, an umbrella when it rains “if” you can’t dance and a sleigh and some really cute pink snow bibs when it snows.

 

New Beginnings Make New Endings!

 

Last evening, Scott and I conducted our weekly, live Facebook chat. It was our first for the year and what a chat it was! Ironically, about an hour before the chat was scheduled to begin, I suddenly realized we had no internet service . . . yikes! Plus, I was not feeling great having just had chemo, (did I mention it was my last, though? Praise God!). For a little bit, I could have just cancelled it, but I was determined to forge ahead. I knew we had our IPhones! Having neuropathy in my fingers made it quite challenging, but I fared pretty well using text-to-talk :)

Our topic was about how new beginnings for the New Year can create new endings. A bit thought provoking, huh?

I began by asking paticipants to share one word to describe their lives in 2014.  They shared words like hopeful, commitment, promising, faith, trust, Christ-like, God-directed and rich . . . rich in God, love, laughter, family and hope – I liked that one :) Well, I cheated and shared a hyphenated word, as a few others did too :) Mine is: new-beginnings.

One of the participants shared “new endings really test your Faith and Trust in the Lord - you have to BELIEVE!! Sometimes you can get stuck in a rut - and feel that you’re not strong enough to climb out of it - not powerful enough to write your new ending - but that is when you have to throw your hands up and Trust the Lord”. Hebrews 11:1 tells us “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”. In beginning a New Year, we really do have to have faith in the ending, don’t we? I can assure you last January 1, I had no idea what all 2013 would hold for me.

My husband, being a former athlete, shared a great analogy: “Sometimes in life, you have to call an audible. An audible is a football term that the quarterback calls, changing the play. We don't really start over; we just find a different route to get to where we want to go.” I liked that.

Going back to the one words I asked participants to use to describe their lives in 2014, how are we going to achieve those desires? Some of us may already have a plan. Some of us may not. Either way, in a few weeks or a few months, our plans may have to change in order to achieve our aspiration; but our desire does not.

To that end and after some great discussion, I challenged the participants to begin pondering their plan if they hadn’t already. We don’t want to forget our word in six weeks, six months! So, I asked them to write down their word, preferably on an index card (it’s a bit sturdier than paper), with a pen (not a pencil). Then, I asked them to put it somewhere where they’d have it with them most of the time or see often.

To expand on that, I’d also encourage them to list the specific activities required to ensure they attain their desires. And also, to share this with someone else, i.e. spouse, friend, etc. and check in with them weekly or maybe every two weeks to ensure you’re right on track! A good example might be:

I, Susan, will seek new beginnings this year. In order for me to complete this, I will first need to pray, be obedient, be open to new opportunities and be willing to accept God’s plan for my life. Plus, I plan to talk to Scott about this weekly, at least.

This particular family is working on small goals to keep them on track to reach their big goals. “We often fall short, but we recognize our point of failure and purpose to not fail that same way again, and we just keep trudging forward.”

Another participant shared “reaching our full potential is surely an on-going process taken day to day.  All any of us can do is be true to ourselves and know that we are doing all we can do in a single day to ensure we reach our goal for that day. Having a strong faith gives us the right tool to do this.”

A few other comments included: “When you put God's will first, and very purposefully listen for His guidance and then follow His lead, you will have the most wonderful ending. Even though we often walk through valleys of many kinds, when the Lord leads your life, you know that you are only changing mountaintops” and Helen Keller’s quote “optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence”.

Plus a great piece of advice, “it is important that if you do slip up - do not give up - you can reach your goals”.

This was an excellent chat that I wanted to share with others. There was a lot of idscussion centered around hope and the choices we make. Someone even shared Lamentations 3:22-23 to tie in our discussion. I hope the participants took away at least one nugget. The one nugget I took away was we can begin right where we are . . . in this very second . . . on Jan. 2 making things better in our lives . . . how we end 2014 will be determined by how we start 2014.

As always, I welcome your comments!

What a way to Celebrate a New Year!

Sunday as we are driving to the airport to catch our 12:30 p.m. flight to the Cancer Treatment Center in Chicago, I decided to check our flight status, just for kicks, on the American Airlines (AA) web site. And what to my wondering eyes should appear? CANCELLED. Yes, in all caps, and in red. If you remember, our last flight three weeks ago was cancelled, and we ended up driving to Nashville to catch our flight. The three weeks before that our flight was delayed for hours due to tornadoes in the Chicago area.

After our last trip to Chicago, I decided we’d travel the day before my appointments and chemo, not the day of, but so much for that strategic planning, huh . . . Nonetheless, we decided to go on to the airport and see what our options were. I had talked to AA a few times on the phone, but have you ever tried to deal with rescheduling a flight on the phone? Not the ideal situation :)  

Upon arriving at the airport, Scott went in to talk to an AA rep while I stayed in the car with Austin who was fast asleep. After waiting patiently for several minutes, Scott texted me. It seemed likely we would be reassigned on a connecting flight through LaGuardia. For some reason, the sound of that was actually a bit exciting (I love NY :) But it didn’t take long before Scott was told the plane had already met its weight limitation. So our only choice? 5:45 a.m. the next morning . . . ugh.

Fortunately, AA paid for our hotel room at the Hilton Airport, in addition to food vouchers for lunch and dinner. At least we were able to enjoy a lazy Sunday afternoon together as we rested up for a l-o-n-g day on Monday.

After turning in early, I could not go to sleep. I think every plane that came in to the airport arrived at the gate closest the hotel.  Then at 12:30 a.m. someone was trying to get in to our room with their key instead of their room! And before I knew it, it was time to get up and head to the airport. I could not have been more proud of Austin who popped right up and was wide awake . . . me? Not so much . . . I was struggling. Little did I know Austin had already called seat C, so he could sit beside Scott then I sat across from them in seat A, but that was fine with me as I had planned to sleep all the way there. But no, I didn’t sleep a wink . . . I just rested my eyes, as my father used to say.

Upon arriving at the airport, our driver was waiting to take us to the Cancer Treatment Center. There was snow all around. It was beautiful and the roads were clear. But did I mention, it was four degrees when we arrived? Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr . . . .

My day was full of appointments beginning with lab work, then an appointment with my oncologist. He was very pleased with how well I’ve done, told me I’d have a follow up with them in a month and congratulated me on my last chemo . . . my last chemo. It wasn’t sinking in . . . but it will. This was followed by a naturopathic, nutrition, care management and Mind and Body consults.

Then it was time for my appointment with my plastic surgeon. He continues to be pleased with my surgery and expanders. We discussed dates for the expander/implant exchange as he is going to coordinate it with my gyno-oncologist who will be doing my complete hysterectomy (since I tested positive for the BRCA2 gene with a mutation, increasing my likelihood for ovarian cancer).

Following this appointment, it was time for lunch! I had not eaten much breakfast and wasn’t sure I was up for lunch. I was not feeling great . . . all morning I was trying to differentiate between exhaustion and a sickly feeling, but I just couldn’t.

After lunch, we had an appointment with my gyno-oncologist. She went ahead and ordered a CT scan with dye, which was scheduled for the following morning (just when I thought we could sleep in a bit). Then she told me we‘d need to arrive about a day-and-a-half prior to my surgery for all of the pre-ops. Following the pre-ops, she would make a final decision as to the type of procedure she will use, i.e. robotic. At this time, the surgery is scheduled for February 7, but we are waiting on confirmation.

Following this appointment, it was time to have my PICC line put in. Now, my last chemo is beginning to set in as this will also be my last PICC line – yay!!!!! But I will go on record saying I’d have a PICC line put in any day over an IV. After my PICC line was inserted off we went . . . for my last chemo . . . thank you, God.

 

It was a very celebratory occasion in many ways. One, the last time Austin went with us is when I was told I would be having four chemo treatments and now here he is with me as I take my last one. That was a surreal and special moment . . . Second, a few special friends had a cake delivered in celebration. Not only was it beautifully decorated, but it was delicious. And yes, we shared with the nurses :) Finally, Scott had helped me get a pink gown and pink cap, which was a gift to me by a special couple, prepared for my “graduation”. YES . . . it is over! Following about four hours of infusion, for the last time, it . . . is . . . over! Again, it was so great to celebrate with Scott and Austin who have been by my side through it all . . . WE did it!

 

As we were leaving the infusion area, tears of joy streamed down my face. As I prayed that night I could not thank God enough for all of His many blessings, especially this big step along my “pathway to recovery”.  Needless to say, we all slept well that night.

Tuesday morning we were up and at it again! But we all felt so good knowing the chemo was over and we were headed home later that day. My CT scan with and without dye went very well. They were able to use the PICC line from the day before so I didn’t have to be stuck with an IV . . . that was faaaaaaaabulous!  Following the scan, I had the PICC line removed (all 47 inches) and my last neulasta shot :) Then I had to see my PT as the neuropathy in my hands and fingers have become worse. It seems to be better in my feet and toes, but when I began to struggle turning the tube of my lipstick, I knew it was worse :( She worked with me on several exercises, many which I can do at home. But we are both optimistic that the neuropathy will gradually disappear now that my chemo is complete.

As we made our way to the lobby to depart for the airport, we were all still delighting in the celebration of the evening prior. My last chemo . . . wow . . . and to boot, I can’t even begin to count the number of people who complimented Austin on his behavior, manners and even praying before his meals. We recognize these things and praise him for them, but it is so gratifying when others take notice and share that with you.

While we were riding back to the airport, we continued the spirit in which we began the day. God has blessed us so much and for His many blessings we are forever grateful. What a way to celebrate a new year . . .

So, a month to rest up and let my body restore itself prior to the next step along our “pathway to recovery”.